The statics show that way to many of us grew up without a healthy relationship with our fathers. All the studies show it is essential to bond with a father figure to ensure we don’t try to find the love we didn’t receive as children. And in our adulthood trying to fix this unexplainable, often unrecognized missing part of our heart.
Let me start with; it’s okay not to live the Norman Rockwell life; most never have. It’s okay to be a sad little today but don’t hide from it, face it square on and do something that brings you joy. Pause and remember the positive men who played a role in your development. Be kind and remember that the fathers we had who were our fathers via DNA or remarriage didn’t bring bliss to your household did the best with the tools they had.
The statics show that way to many of us grew up without a healthy relationship with our fathers. All the studies show it is essential to bond with a father figure. We need to ensure we don’t tarnish our adulthood trying to fix this unexplainable, often unrecognized missing part of our heart. Essentially, you are not alone or unique please take comfort in this fact.
Cry if you want to, and it’s okay to be indifferent; what you feel isn’t wrong. It’s okay to look at other families and envy what you see, but do not drown in despair. You are not alone. Please heal this wound, talk to a counselor if you are comfortable, journal are two strategies that may help.
What has gotten me through this complex issue is remembering the men who society considered my fathers did the best they could with the tools they had; nothing was my fault. Being fatherless has made me very courageous and grateful I am one of the lucky ones who has a mum who is my loudest cheerleader. But I still unknowingly seek approval for my accomplishment; one day, I hope this will be able to honor my own accomplishments not needing approval.